Mega Shark VS Mecha Shark (2014) Review

SPOILER ALERT: A MEGA SHARK AND A MECHA SHARK JUST KINDA SWIM AROUND IN THIS MOVIE AND THAT'S ABOUT ALL THAT HAPPENS. NO, REALLY.

So you guys know how much I love giant monster films. Especially giant monster films that feature one giant monster fighting another giant monster. They're usually harmless, "so bad it's good" movies that are perfect for getting a bunch of friends together for a good laugh. However, Mega Shark Vs Mecha Shark is not like the other movies in this category in the fact that instead of being "so bad it's good", it's just plain bad. 

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

I watched this movie with friends expecting a ridiculously absurd crapfest, but in a good way. What I got was an hour and ten minutes of boredom. Nothing happens at all in this film. It's obviously about a giant shark and a giant robot shark built to kill the aforementioned giant shark. However, until the last 15 minutes of the film, the two almost never come into contact with each other, except for the one time when they both jump out of the water and collide in midair in front of an airplane for the trailer shot. 

Exhilarating....

For a movie called Mega Shark Vs Mecha Shark, the mega shark and mecha shark don't do a lot of fighting. More like Mecha Shark VS My Attention Span, amirite? Anyway, the gist of the plot is that the mecha shark has an AI inside of it and the AI eventually goes haywire and completely ignores the mega shark it was created to destroy and goes on a rampage through the town. And here's where the only redeeming quality of this movie comes in: 

THE MECHA SHARK TRANSFORMS INTO A TANK

Complete with missiles, a set of metal teeth, and a desire to kill everything, the mecha shark tank makes its way through the town before one of the main characters an heros himself by jumping inside of the mecha shark's mouth to shut it down from the inside. Also, this little girl named Tracy always seems to get in the way of everything while this is going on and almost dies like fifty times because she's dumb and stands in front of a giant mecha shark tank as it's rolling right towards her. 

Freaking Tracy........

Anyhow, all in all, this movie is a huge disappointment. Being a "VS" movie and all, you expect some exciting fights between two giant monsters, but no, instead we get an interracial couple researching sharks and talking about how they're probably gonna have a kid after this is all over or something like that, I don't know, I was so bored watching this. Being an Asylum movie, you can expect the shots to be kinda decent, but everything else crappy. And it is. Oh boy, it all is. If you're like me and want to watch a fun "so bad it's good" monster movie, just take the safe bet and go with something from the Maneater Series instead of this drek. Mega Shark VS Mecha Shark gets 3 giant mecha shark tanks out of 10. I was gonna give it a 1, but that shark tank is too awesome to warrant that kind of score. Best avoid this one like the plague.