Didn't see that coming, did ya?
The Exorcist is the kind of movie that just pisses me off. It's got rock bottom acting, a terrible plot, an unsatisfying ending, and it's riddled with useless jump scares!
When I first saw this movie, I was pretty young, about 9 years old. Granted, I didn't go see it in theaters since I was born in '94 and all, but when my mom put the cassette into the VCR, I instantly sensed that this movie would be terrible. If I could sense that at 9 years old, then that's a surefire sign that your movie is just awful.
People claim that this movie was "revolutionary" and "innovative" in the horror genre, when in reality, it's just another lame demon possession movie! We already had hundreds of those! It's not even a good one! It's CLEARLY ripping off of The Exorcism of Emily Rose, which is by far the best demon possession movie ever made! I can't stand the director's choice of casting such a young girl to play the demon-possessed character instead of a sexy 20-something bombshell! How could they even THINK about something that asinine?!
Pictured here: A far superior horror movie, by all standards
The idiots who made this piece of garbage didn't even have a good camera! It looks like it was filmed in the 50's or something! And who could forget the most heinous crime of all? NO FOUND FOOTAGE AT ALL! It's like they WANT younger horror viewers like me to hate this movie!
The gore (if you can even call it gore), is just non-existent. Where's the demon-possessed girl biting off the head of the priest?! Where's the demon-possessed girl making a person explode into tiny, bloody chunks by using only her demonic mind powers?! OH MY GOD, THERE'S NOT EVEN A CRAZY SURGEON GUY HACKING AWAY AT THE PERSON'S LIMBS! YOU CAN'T HAVE A GOOD HORROR MOVIE WITHOUT THE CRAZY SURGEON GUY HACKING AWAY AT THE PERSON'S LIMBS!
The most gore we get through this entire crapfest is a measly masturbation scene where the demon-possessed girl grabs a crucifix and starts pleasuring herself with it. THERE'S BARELY ANY BLOOD AT ALL! IN FACT, THERE'S MORE PUKE THAN BLOOD!
WHY DOES THIS MOVIE EXIST?!
I can safely say that this was one of the all-time WORST movies I've ever seen in my entire life! Everything about it was absolutely WRONG! Every single aspect of this thing's putrid existence makes me sick to my stomach! The fact that people actually like this garbage is the reason why I think my generation of teens and young adults has the greatest horror movies! I mean, how could you even COMPARE this abomination to the masterpiece that was Final Destination 5?! I can't stand this anymore. This movie gets a definite ZERO OUT OF TEN! It's absolute trash and it needs to be thrown into an incinerator before anybody else gets the chance to watch it.
Happy April Fool's Day, by the way! I promise I'll have a real review up by tomorrow. :)
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