Creature (2011) Review

If there's one thing you should know about me when it comes to horror movies, it's that I'm a sucker for monster/animal movies. If your movie features some kind of giant/mutant/homicidal animal, I will most definitely watch it. I love the creature features, no matter if they're good or bad (spoiler alert: they're mostly bad), but there are just some that are trying too hard to be a good horror movie when they're so ridiculously bad and that makes your crappy movie even worse. Creature is one of those movies.

Note the half-assed tagline.

Wait, did I see Sid Haig on that poster?! I did! What Captain Spaulding is doing in a movie about a human/alligator hybrid is beyond me, but he's this movie's only saving grace. What this movie is trying to do is tell the story of a group of friends that go camping in the woods by a swamp who get picked off one by one by an alligator monster that lives in the swamp. About halfway into the movie, that plot gets thrown out the window and replaced with a plot dealing with a cult in the town trying to capture the females of the group so that the previously mentioned alligator monster (stereotypically named Lockjaw) can impregnate them with its mutant seed. 

Uuuuuummmmmm...

Yeah. If you couldn't already tell, this movie isn't very good. It ditches any and all horror elements early on and makes the movie all about sex. There's 3 topless scenes, two of which are there for absolutely no reason whatsoever except to make the tween boys who snuck into the theater cream their pants. By the way, this piece of garbage somehow got a theatrical release. Also, there's a scene where a guy is watching two of the main characters make out and his sister comes along and jerks him off behind a bush while they both watch said make out session. Gross. The movie doesn't know where it wants to go and it takes itself waaay too seriously. The ending was half-assed and the "twist" was one of the most predictable ones I've ever seen in a movie. 

"Bite the pillow, I'm going in dry."

There are very few good things about this movie. Those few good aspects are mostly in the acting department. Like I said before, Sid Haig is in this movie and he does a fantastic job with the role of the fanatical cult leader, and he puts his own backwoods redneck flair into the role as well. Serinda Swan plays the main female lead very well, and I'd be lying if I said that Lauren Schneider didn't make me laugh a couple times in her portrayal of a bayou girl turned city slicker. Also, she's pretty hot. 

Pun DEFINITELY intended.

Overall, this movie was a confusing mess of monster crap that took itself way too seriously to be any good. If you're looking for a comical, "so bad it's good" monster movie, then this is not the movie for you. This is not "so bad it's good", this is just plain bad. I give this movie 2 gross alligator/human babies out of a possible 10. Stay FAR away.